Professor Kenneth Willow spoke out yet again today about the
sudden
appearance of talking bears in cities all across the world.
Many people see the big, hug-loving
bears as one of the most
cheerful and heart-warming events in human history; but Professor
Willow
begs to differ. "It's madness," Willow insisted to a sparse
crowd at Cooper Union. "People
love these bears for no other reason
than the fact that they're cute and warm and cuddly,
and say things like
'Who wants a great big bear hug?' and 'Come and
get a little fuzzy-wuzzy'.
And that's ridiculous. What if the world had been suddenly overrun
by
talking warthogs shouting 'Who wants a tusk in the touchas'? You
wouldn't
go ga-ga for that, would you? But you're falling over
yourselves in your rush to welcome
all these endless huggy bears
that we know nothing about.' Public sentiment,
however, remains
adamantly pro-bear. 'I don't want a hug, I want TWO hugs!' giggled
Natalie
Launceston of Orlando, Florida. 'And I want 'em NOW!'
