Eccentric billionaire Fidelis Banville Bindlestaff announced today
that he
has hired his own personal troupe of cheerleaders.
"Teams have cheerleaders, why shouldn't
I?" Bindlestaff
declared. "I have more money than any team in any league
in
the country. What are the cheerleaders for the Knicks
or Saints or Lakers cheering for, really?
They're cheering for money.
Come on, money! Go, money! That's
what they're cheering for.
So why not cheer for me?" The Bindlestaff Cheerleaders follow
him wherever he goes, cheering on his his every move. "They
cheer
when I finish a cup of coffee," Bindlestaff chuckles. "They cheer
when I buy stock. Cheer
when I sell it. Cheer when I step into a
limo. Cheer when I get out of it. Does it get old? No.
No it doesn't.
That last cheer when as I climb into bed at night is just as delightful
as
the first cheer when I roll out bed in the morning." Bindlestaff settles
back in his chair
with a grin. "I gave them devil outfits," he explains,
"to remind myself that for
any one man to have a fortune worth billions,
and to spend even just the tiniest fraction of that
fortune on a personal
cheerleading squad is wrong. People say I don't have a conscience.
Well,
I'd say that proves otherwise, wouldn't you?"
